Category Archives: Thoughts

“Osho”- the name sounds quite familiar as well as mysterious. So, when I came across “The Book of Women” by Osho, I decided to give it a try. At first I was exalted. Here is someone who understands and respects women. Is it? Repetitions and self-contradictory ideas made me skeptic. “The pill” certainly has its benefits. It frees you from being a reproducing machine. What about its side effects? He seems to place woman on a pedestal because only she can give birth. Motherhood is sanctified, but then it is advised to rear children in the commune. What about a father? True, he cannot become pregnant. But isn’t he a parent? Doesn’t a child need the security and intimacy of its parents? I agree with him when he says, women have been oppressed for a long time. It is as if she has been raised to become a humble servant. Sacrifice should be her way of life. All for what? Still I cannot condone polygamy.
How to be absolutely free? The answer eludes. I have to continue the search. Don’t expect to get it from Osho.

INDIAN WOMEN: AN INNER DIALOGUE
– INDIRA G PARIKH
– PULIN K GARG

The title caught my eyes. As I had been seriously deliberating on the status of women in Indian society or Kerala society or any society for that matter, I thought I must find some answers or rather guidance.
The book deals with status of women in the Indian society and the reality of marriage. A female child is seen as “paraya dhan”, property to be transferred to the rightful owner. She is both a liability and a burden.
Marriage is a big hype. A woman enters the institution expecting to find her own space, acceptance and a new family. But in reality, she is cast out from her own family, and the new “family” puts her under constant scrutiny. The husband, eager to remain a dutiful son, is often of no support. Most of the hope of a romantic encounter remains unfulfilled. The burden of re-rooting herself is entirely hers. Resentment and disillusionment follows. Life seems meaningless. Yet she is expected to live up to a variety of  expectations defined by social tradition with little hope of ever becoming her true self.
Those who find the courage to venture into forbidden territories are treated harshly and are considered rebels. Guilt is the weapon with which the society binds a woman to a myriad of roles – a dutiful daughter, loyal wife, obedient daughter-in-law, a good mother, never a human –a person. It seems that a woman finds release and freedom only in death.
Now, how can a woman take charge of her life and carve out a space for herself? How can she make the society understand that she is not competing with men but creating an equation all in an attempt to find a corner where she can breathe?
Each woman attempts to answer the question in her own manner. Spiritualism, rebellion – everything is tried. There is no capsule solution. Somehow she has to find the courage to stand by her own convictions – not the ones thrust upon her by the society.

Some afterthoughts:
Kerala society as a whole is hypocritical. My reader’s if any, are free to disagree. I am expressing only my thoughts. Outwardly, we wish to be modern. At the same time, we wish to be keepers of the tradition. Genuinely we believe that we have found a balance between the two.
Why? Is it because we educate our girls and give them a say in their own marriage? And what is the reality of this marriage? What happens afterwards? How do we help our children cope with this uprooting and rerooting? What support system do we have in place to help them cope with this new life, and develop a family of their own? Let me ask the bitter question? What opportunity do they have for romance?
The mind is churning. Another feminist! Am I? Marriage is dignified servitude. Do you think a woman was born to burn like candle to help everyone else but never herself?
I have come to abhor the word “sacrifice.” Our society is based on sacrifice. A girl child is born to be the sacrificial lamb. What are these sacrifices for? Whom do these sacrifices make happy? Yeah! I have said the taboo word- Happiness! Who am I to wish for happiness? DUTY!!! – The most abused word. It is the duty of a good woman to be unhappy and never complain about it. Why doesn’t anyone speak about these things? Everybody goes through the same rituals. Why do they try to pass it on? How does one put an end to it?

At least the question is out there. Somebody, somewhere will find the courage to face it.

I have been feeling a little down lately.
Changes … when they don’t happen we’re bored and when they do , we are scared.
This move back to India is a huge change and I find myself falling into the grip of worries and anxieties.
So far, google has been taking the place of a spiritual guru in most crises.
This time however I turned to Amazon looking for an answer.
And for a moment, I thought I did too.

There it was “Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words”.
I have always been a true believer of the power of words.
718 reviews and still 5 stars!
I had to have that book.

Who doesn’t want to discover their purpose in life?

If I can find it for about $8.00 in Kindle version, why wouldn’t I give it a try?
At the end of it all, maybe I would discover that I am someone great just hiding in a housewife’s costume.
Even better, maybe I’ll find a place in the Social Studies text book someday.
(That has been one of my childhood dreams.)

I have finished the first chapter. It describes a secret word “Genshai”.
He says it is an old Hindi word which means that you should never treat another person in a way that makes them feel small.
There is a story that describes how he learned about it.

Genshai doesn’t sound like a Hindi word to me. But Hindi is not my mother tongue.
I turned to google guru , but didn’t get a satisfying answer.
Almost all the chatter about ‘Genshai’ is related to this book by Kevin Hall.

It IS a profound truth, I agree.
But somehow the word and the accompanying story didn’t quite hit the mark.
It feels more like a chapter from a fiction.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Or maybe greatness and purpose don’t come in $8.00 bottles.

My son, whenever you are out of my sight, my worry knows no end. How I wish I could sort of astral project myself and make sure everything is alright. Letting you go is harder than I ever imagined. But I know how important it is that you come out of my shadow , learn from your experiences and live life your way.
That doesn’t mean I worry any less.